The struggles and triumphs of an addict

You know an addict constantly struggles with their brain. You can absolutely overcome your primary addiction like I have. You know there is not a chance in hell of going back, but as you puff your chest out feeling so proud your brain is constantly trying to feel that void where the lack of dopamine is really messing you up inside. For me it's love. That's the dragon I chase now and it's got it's own kind of withdrawal. Instead of running to the bathroom every five minutes, cold sweats, terrible body pain, a host of others this withdrawal is just a crushing emptiness where the tears won't stop flowing and the grand canyon in your chest is washed away with just one hint of love, She comes into your life it seems out of nowhere and your dysfunctional brain  is telling you YES this is the one. It's got to be your turn. Maybe yours is food or maybe even food, but even though we definitely have some due recognition these replacement addictions can be just as destru...

I named this blog the struggles and triumphs of an addict because an  addict in recovery wakes up each day not knowing which one the day will bring or if the day will bring both. Sometimes your greatest struggles are really triumphs in disguise. A situation that may seem a terrible struggle could be something that is a part of recovery and you just can't see is a triumph at the time. As a recovering addict one of the greatest struggles is psychological. When you spend years flooding your brain with chemicals that constantly release the body's natural feel good chemical Dopamine your brain, as a defensive mechanism, begins to shut the dopamine receptors down in a way. You also deplete the dopamine in your system. So, when you stop introducing the unnatural chemicals to the brain the dopamine seems used up. The point is with the depletion of dopamine the normal things that make life pleasurable like eating food you enjoy and sex, there is no pleasur...